Steven, an opiate addict was in recovery for two years when he relapsed. The binge lasted for a month before he was arrested for shoplifting to feed his relapse. Now clean, he provides insight to why it happened.
What was your drug of choice?
I loved all opiates, but
if I had all the money in the world I would choose Oxycontin every time.
How did you originally get into recovery?
My wife filed for divorce and I found myself in a battle for the right to co-parent my son, who was three at the time. She used my addiction against me and my attorney said I needed to go to rehab and get into recovery if I wanted to retain any parental rights. So I did. We were later awarded joint-custody.
When did you relapse?
I was clean for two years when I relapsed. I ultimately got arrested for shoplifting. I was very fortunate that the judge gave me a fine and no jail time.
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How did it happen?
I ran into some old friends from my drug days and mistakenly believed I could hang out with them again and not use. That lasted about two weeks. Then one night I was feeling pretty stressed from work and parenting responsibilities and someone offered me a pill. Not for free of course. Oxis are not cheap. I figured I could buy one and just this once snort it and then go back to "real life" the next day. The next day of course found me seeking more pills.
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Within two weeks I had blown my entire savings account and lost my job for not showing up. Luckily my ex didn't figure out what really happened and I got back on track before she could.
How?
I stopped all communication with those old drug friends. I reminded myself every day that I had gotten sober once and I could do it again. I kept a photo of my son with me, and every time I wanted to use or call those friends, I stared at the photo and asked myself if he was worth staying sober for. He was and is so it got me through the rough times.
What about now?
Because I already had the coping tools to get clean again and stay that way, this relapse wasn't as hard to get past as the first recovery was. I have a new job and I am seeing a therapist.
What is Keeping You Clean?
My son. Every time I even think about the "good old days" I take a look at him and know if I relapse again, I will lose him. He is my entire world and I will not risk it.